Who Killed Cupid?!

Could you imagine a world with no Valentine’s day? February 14^th would just be a normal day, like September 18^th or March 21^st. But what would this mean for the love struck people out there who dwell on the excuse of St Valentine’s day to give or receive some kind of love token? Will a world without Valentine’s day mean people  showing more love everyday  and the florist making a mad killing irrespective of the day? Or restaurants succumbing to everyday intimate atmospheres to entertain couples who just feel like loving and being loved today just for the sake of…well…love! Or will we have to endure the opposite; a society where love tokens are only seen at the beginning of a new relationship (what I’d like to call ‘new love’) and older relationships remain less expressive and more mundane – business as usual, status quo!

Can we really relay on men, or women for that matter, to buy the occasional bouquet of flowers or pack of decadent chocolate, or my favorite, the oversized teddy bears to show some kind of appreciation for their partner, without the help of societal pressure to conform to a commercialized day of love? Would not hold my breath on that! Come on, we are human, we get boggled down by routine and the hustle and bustle of everyday blues, so we are bound to take for granted the people who mean the most in our lives, just because they too become part of our daily routine. At least we have other days to celebrate the importance of other family members and friends (mother’s day, father’s day, birthdays) so why not Lover’s day! A day we celebrate our lovers!

I would be amiss to say that Val’s Day has not been commercialized…no in actual fact I would be blind to say that! Who can miss all the red/pink color combo decorations all around us once we barely reach the end of January! It’s like we can’t get enough of the red hearts and pink bows and arrows! Not to leave out the cupid-like paraphernalia propagandizing the belief that there is this chubby childlike creature going around shooting arrows with love induced tips! (Okay so maybe the cupid part is just me and my whacky imagination). But really, so what if Val’s Day is over-commercialized…isn’t everything else! Santa Clause, the Easter bunny and the turkey all have their moments to shine during the year, so why not Cupid and his mischievous ways! Why shouldn’t love also have its day to shine?

So here what I really think of St Valentines Day:  Yes, like every other celebrative event, there is some story behind Val’s day that in most cases really has nothing to do with why we really celebrate this day in the first place but I’m not going to bore you or myself with that story. Thank goodness for Google and Wikipedia! Knock yourself out! However, if you would allow me, let me explain why I think Val’s Day is important:

As mentioned above, in a relationship, there is the beginning ( new love) …and the rest (old love). The new love stage is when two people find themselves and for the life of them just can’t seem to shake ‘the butterflies in the stomach’, the uneasy yet exciting feelings the body goes through… you know, what we call the mushy mashy time when the two lovers – if they had their own way – would spend every living second in each other arms, staring into each others eyes! For this love, Vals day is really not necessary! Really… I mean it only gives these ‘new lovers’ more reason to rub society’s nose in the fact that they found each other! (Woohoo!) It’s like a license to flaunt their new love, which mind you, they do everyday! Yup, new love is fun and refreshing, so in actual fact it does not need the renewing magic of Valentine’s Day.

However, the rest of a relationship (old love): technically I would say after a year in a relationship…you are coasting over to the old love phase. Routine sets in, familiarity is inevitable, at this stage the butterflies have definitely settled and the extra miles taken to make the other partner feel special is at an all time minimum. Life begins to happen, and although love is lurking in the shadows, observers are not sickened by the constant display of public affection. Now here, the magic of Valentines Day can go a long way. It’s just that one day when old love becomes renewed! The increased attention, extra affection, and of course the gifts and love tokens don’t hurt. On this day, observers are not peeling over with disgust…no, they demand to see the renewal of old love and instead of eye rolling and teeth sucking, there are smiles and oohhs and aaahhhs. It’s a time when the ‘old’ couples can revert back to the times of their new love. Its just that time of year when you show the one you care about just how much you do care and this can be done in so many ways; although the chocolate manufacturers, florists and restaurants have taken first dibs on the ‘most appropriate’ ways to celebrate this day. But that should not stop us from finding other creative and subtle ways to celebrate love.

Some people will argue that its all too predictable and the build up to February 14 is a bit over the top but yet again isn’t it the same for Christmas…we spend hours on end shopping and cooking for just one day and after the day rolls by , its over. Same for birthdays, anniversaries…you name it! So why pick on St. Valentine’s Day…it’s just a day to love! How hard is that!

Even the singles out there have no cause to be Valentine scrooges! Yup, I said it…for some single people, on this day of love, they would find gouging out their eye balls more entertaining than sitting down watching lovers indulge in each other! My motto.…if you can’t beat them, join them! Who said Valentine’s Day has to be for lovers only…yes it’s a day of love but as a ‘single’, you do have a special someone , friend or family you must love or even like very much. So what’s stopping you from showing a little love to this or these persons or even yourself for that matter? Take your license to love and run with it!

That”s my gossip truth on Val’s Day! What’s your take… Here are a few honest opinions :

Y. Ansah – Accra, Ghana…

“I know its just another day and has been commercialized to the nonsense degree! That said, if I am in a relationship, I do like to celebrate it by doing something to mark the day with that special someone.”

A. Sampah – London, United Kingdom…

“Sometimes people need a gentle reminder that they are loved and adored by their loved ones. Valentine’s day – though over commercialized sometimes – gives that knock on the head to the otherwise ‘insensitive loved ones’ to do something sweet for their partners. Even if it’s not a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary.
In my opinion Valentine’s day is here to stay and for good reasons whichever way you look at it: commercially, romantically or for the sake of charity. And if I had it my own way, there would be 2 or 3 Valentine’s days in the year.”

A. Boateng – London, United Kingdom…

“What a gimmick! It’s another way of increasing the profit margins of the corporate entities who manufacture the gifts that are supposed to represent your affection for your partner on the day! Suddenly there’s an expectation to buy over priced chocolates, flowers, soft toys etc coupled with equally over priced cards and the vals day ritual of going for dinner in an expensive restaurant. Why can’t you buy your partner a single rose and share a bottle of wine in front of the telly or together in bed? Ask any guy and they’ll be more than happy to do that, however there is an expectation that you have to get the cards, flowers, chocolates, bottle of wine or champagne, soft toys and any other gimmick u care to include and of course that holy ritual of vals day dinner! Don’t get me wrong I’m all for showing affection and buying gifts for your partner but don’t agree with the concept that I have to do so on a set day and conform to the so called norm! It’s about the principle not the money! Besides why show your partner love on a single day when u should be doing so all year round? In my book everyday with your partner should be vals day and if its not then you need to address it!”

A. Edison – Johannesburg, South Africa…

“Val’s Day sucks!”

B. Glover – Atltana, GA, USA…

“Bottom line, the hoopla around Val’s day can get a bit much. Its like a rich man who decides to build a gold house in the middle of a shanty town once a year, and each day you see him flaunt his wealth and his blessings. Love is like wealth, isnt it? Its a blessing, to have someone to share your life with, definitely. But must it be flaunted so openly? Must it be a competition? I say this not because I am single, but I’ve never really liked Vals day. Its commercial and people forget what its supposed to stand for, like Christmas.
And even the couples who go all out, who knows the status of their relationships? It encourages men to focus on only a few days out of the year, Val’s day, birthday and if you’re lucky, anniversary. You spend so much on your partner on that day, and then you’re like, okay so since i bought you that diamond necklace, give some space aight.
Its like that discussion we had on my blog about weddings, engagement rings and expenses. As soon as much monetary focus is placed on some activity, it begins to lose value over time. Val’s day just sucks on a lot of levels!”

R. GMensah – Atlanta, GA, USA…

“I think val’s day can be special depending on who you’re with. This doesn’t give single people an excuse to complain all freaking day! I think if there is something both of you like to do as a couple then this is a day you can do it the most without feeling corny. This also doesn’t give couples an excuse to come up with weird stuff just to feel special. Just be natural with it, be yourself! If we stay true everybody shall have a nice reccession proof Val’s day!”

C. Quist – Atlanta, GA, USA…

“I think Val’s day is for women and a ‘great excuse’ for a man courting a woman to go all out to show ‘how much’ he likes a woman!”

R. Dodoo – Atlanta, GA, USA

“In my view, Valentine’s day is overrated and over commercialized. However, it’s a good way to express your love/feelings/lusts/thoughts/etc. to your partner/partners.
One question I have been pondering lately is; When (1 week/ 1 month/2 monhts/etc.) is it a good time to give him/her a Valentines gift and how does the duration of the “relationship” drive the value of the gift?” Any takers on this question?

K. Okai – Philadelphia, USA

“I think Val’s day sucks! lol… i mean what do you want me to say eh? ok ok 🙂
Val’s day should be a day when we all reaffirm our commitment to show love to our neighbor everyday of the year because love is manifest in our actions, not in chocolates!”
 

E. Mensah – Washington DC, USA…

“The weight of Valentine’s Day means different things to different people at different stages of a relationship. I think if you are in a relatively new relationship, the day symbolizes the potential of your relationship. If you have been in the game for awhile, its a nice reminder but not a necessity. If you are an old dog like me (10 years & counting 😉 ) it is just another day.”

R. Buah – New York, NY USA…

“Ok, i think val’s day is great whether i am in a relationship or not! when i was single, it was still great to see couples ‘ooooh’ and ‘aaaaah’ over gifts from loved ones. Of course some  go over board and others are jaded but i still think the idea of expressing love (even if just for a day) is a beautiful thing! The fact that lovers/couples pick Feb 14th to express love doesn’t mean they hate each other during the rest of the year. Geez! we need to calm down and enjoy the simple pleasures in life small! So whether i get chocolate (which i hate) or flowers (which i love), I will wallow in the idea that my loved one gave me something symbolic as a token of his love :)”

C. BAmissah – Seattle, Washington, USA….

“I think it’s seriously overrated and I always forget about it……even when it’s only 4 days before my birthday! It’s always a headache having to formalize the event via gifts, dinner, romantic event, etc. I think I’m romantic all year so I don’t see why we have to have a special I LOVE YOU day!! She should know already…..but hey most women love and regard this day…….so we do it anyway :)”